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The blog in nontext.
CONTENT: Generally.
OTHER: You may. ←
TALK: Chatbox.
( Talk status: Yahoo! status )
AGD CHAPTERS:  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
WORD:  i ii iii iv v vi vii viii ix x xi xii xiii xiv xv xvi xvii xviii xix xx xxi xxii xxiii xxiv xxv xxvi xxvii xxviii xxix xxx xxxi xxxii

Holy crap.
It's been over a year  since I last posted to this thing.

And, well fuck, I've been living in Tokyo for almost two years. (My English has gotten a little... Well, it suffers in a way that people back in the US comment. lol)

I don't really know what compelled me to post to LJ (it's like 今更何でだろうな) but... HEY. SUP. Who's still going strong here? I'm curious.

Word, XXXII.
I knew it was coming. I've been in and out of Japan on kankou-visa in 90-day spurts, uh... three times now. Finally, the other day, immigration was like, "...Yeah, you really gotta have a visa by the next time you enter the country..."


Uproot.Collapse )


What I've decided is that you don't play FlappyBird. You motivate FlappyBird. You have to touch that screen, or the bastard falls straight out of the fucking sky.

And not just your normal fall. Wherever it hits the ground, it will—without exception—do so face-first. Oddly enough, before the game starts, FlappyBird flies just fine—arguably like a real bird. But it's as if you becoming its handler instantly takes away all its birdly pride, and it is reduced to bouncing through the air—that is, only when you force it to fly.

It doesn't help that FlappyBird's default and only expression is a wide-eyed straight-face so straight that it reeks of the long-suffering stoicism of someone who fucking hates you, wants you to cease everything you do, but will instead remain in passive-aggressive, incredulous silence as it follows the bare minimum of your directions.

Because you, according to FlappyBird, suck.

But this is where you can start seeing eye-to-eye. As you shed painful, desolate tears in your frustration with FlappyBird, you can find the scant solace in that, as much as you hate FlappyBird, it hates you.

It's relatively popular to complain about FlappyBird, but in all honesty, it isn't all that bad. Certainly, the first couple days or so are cruel and unusual. But, over time, it grows on you. FlappyBird gives you company during 15-hour flights, and also a way to pass the eternity that exists inside a Tokyo Met rush hour train. FlappyBird, also forced to travel, becomes your commiseration. Or perhaps just the forbearing target of your revenge, but either way, your sick relationship will get you through the commute.

Communication and Shit

Yahoo discontinued its Pingbox thing, which is a buzzkill, so... The "TALK" link in my sticky post now opens a Zoho anonymous shout box in a new browser window. The talk status thing is still valid ( Yahoo! status )—yellow smiley is go. Talk to me, bruh.

Don't be shy. I literally can't know who you are unless you want me to know. When it tells you to enter your name, you can just smash the keyboard if you want (that's absolutely what I would do). And there's really no pressure to say anything interesting, as I think basically everyone is interesting by default. Because it's like, dude—you're another person on this earth. That's awesome.

By the way, I'm also taking more words.

Word, XXXI.
First prompt I've filled for AGD in quite some time.
Not confident with any language right now my English, but... here goes.

Girls.Collapse )

Still Alive

It has been a longass time.  For the past, like, uh... five months now, I've been living in Tokyo, studying exclusively Japanese. Whether this is for a job back in the US, or (quite possibly) the beginnings of me becoming an expat, I don't know. But, whatever it is, I'm definitely aiming for fluency. Albeit with short trips now and then back to the US, I'm most likely going to be spending most of the next year or so in Japan. If not much longer.

Either way... Having been Japanese-lifestyle-doing for a while, it occurred to me recently that I could probably fortify AGD with a frankly alarming amount of detail. But it also came with the realization that, as someone always hopelessly in pursuit of realism, a fair amount of what I've written would be due for a severe amount of recursive changes. This makes me feel excited and very discouraged—which is pittari the essence of the whole damn series. lol `\_(ツ)_/`

So idk, guys—I might not even have time to write. And also, my English suffers horribly; for months, I've been speaking either straight-Japanese or kinda excruciating Japanglish pretty much all day. (My family makes fun of my English when I call home.) (By the way, there's a whole genus of Japanglish humor that should be absolutely banned from ever happening.) But... You might get a post out of me here or there. Even if it turns out to be a grammar smoothie, I'll try. It's the trying that counts, bro.

Well, it's true, isn't it?

This is later on in the conversation. Not that you have context anyway, but just to prevent connecting things that aren't there. In this instance, he's being self-deprecating. (And well fuck, practice does help—for whatever reason, I was able to draw this faster and more easily. (Although it is still a mystery why I do this stuff to relax.))

Of course you meant it.

I'M ON A ROLL, BABY!  Bam! Bam! Bam! Production! (And, about what I said about hating drawing Ishida, I take it back—Ichigo is being so much harder to draw. I just have no feel for the dimensions of his head or nose. And, on that note, I need to fix Ichigo's nose or it will BOTHER ME FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT. [ETA]: CONSIDER IT DONE.)

...I didn't mean it.

Why would you even say that?

I actually sort of hate drawing Ishida, despite the frequency he appears in my fanart. But it's like these scenes need to not sit in my head and follow me around, you know? (And I was going to draw a companion piece of Ichigo, but Ichigo's hair really wasn't working with me today. It made the whole process stupid.)

Kurosaki, I don't care... (Ch. 10 Preview)

Ch. 6 Illustration

[CLICK IMAGE FOR CONTEXT]   I have no idea whether Urahara has ever used 〜たまえ in canon, but I personally feel that it sounds manly and righteous, which is his general vibe in the scene. Plus, serious!Urahara using plain speech is sort of intimidating anyway, and the way Miki Shinichiro's voice drops off at あえ/あい diphthongs also helps the cause.

The sketch was based on an old pen sketch I had in this MOTHERFUCKING PILE, a.k.a. my AGD notes. Holy tacos, no wonder I've been so reluctant about touching AGD after my overall hiatus. And let us note that the above is actually only my paper notes. I also have a 124.7MB, 224-file AGD folder on this laptop and another large AGD folder on my old laptop. Obscene.

(no subject)


Whoa, I haven't been on this account in quite some time.

Life is kinda interesting in its own way. I've sort of bullishly been avoiding learning more about myself (I chalk it up to moderate arrogance and perhaps sheer terror), but now, having reached a particularly gory end of the Avoidance Spectrum, I've finally gotten to a place where I'm not all that burnt up about putting myself back on the learning curve. Which is cool. I might be stubborn, but I really enjoy self-awareness. It reduces the likelihood of me being a total douche.

So I feel really invigorated, actually. It's cheesy, but I think it's not off base to say I've finally reached a new life chapter after reading, say, Chapter 6 six fucking times. Makes me think of "Oprah's Next Chapter" (an allusion that makes me feel embarrassed in the way I feel embarrassed when saying something like "Believe In Your Dreams"). But legit, I'm rediscovering myself and my own behavior after all these years, and it feels good.

Maybe I should look into parkour.

It only occurred to me recently that it might not be so normal to just vault over things to avoid walking around them. I mean, I'm in my own world most of the time, and I've done shit like that for as long as I remember (in elementary school, I used to, uh... scale the walls of narrow hallways to the ceiling using tension (I'm sure I grieved some people), and in the general history of my schooling, I would very often do the vault/side-slide thing over railings and particularly broad tables). So as far as I'm concerned, it's not all that strange, and it's not like it requires my full awareness or a mental declaration of commitment.

(I do have an appreciable amount of half-awareness, though, in regard to situations where the Time-Save Vault might not be appropriate, and I can exercise restraint accordingly.)

...I forget what I'd been Youtubing exactly—think it was sword fights, then stunt people, then the running-up-the-wall backflip—but I came across 'parkour.' And I was like... 'Man, this shit's extreme.' But then I realized that some of that I would probably do if I could, and I had the "Aha" moment in which I realized I was absolutely fucking nuts. But—as someone who has never really been normal, the norm-related self-deprecation lasted all of one second, replaced with a more progressive "Cool story bro; is there some parkour thing I can sign up for?"

Exercise would be more interesting that way, I think.

Mostly unrelated things:   (1) I finally got around to watching Gangnam Style. Obscenely catchy, and there are some very... nice-looking people who look very nice dancing in that video.   (2) I got my first non-white-person haircut. Although it might not be immediately apparent to people who see me, I am kind of Asian, and quite apparently, Asian barbers and Asian haircuts work better for me. Who woulda thunk it.   (3) This election is depressing (and I am not fond of politics), but looking at Politifact's Truth-o-meter is relatively addicting, and I find Jon Stewart very entertaining—actually, to the extent that I would like to be Jon Stewart. Not 'be like.' Be.

(Or if that's a no-go, I'd like to be the collective existence of the Jabbawockeez.)

Word, XXX.
In light of the "XXX," I almost feel that I should make this inappropriate somehow. But a lot of what I write is already inappropriate, so I guess that's a bust. We'll see, though. I haven't written it yet; it might actually be benign.

Surface.Collapse )

My relationship with slash.

Mostly, I pursue gen.

But, in the instances where I actually do pursue non-canon pairings... For the main part, it happens to be slash, despite my expressed unease about slash. Which seems entirely nonsensical, so I'm sitting down and writing out some of the reasons why.

  1. I like powerful people together.

    You will never see me ship a pairing where somebody is a liability. Slash or het, I just don't like weak-minded people with anyone. (I have generally low tolerance for this sort, even non-shipped in canon.) My support of a pairing is contingent on self-sufficiency, power, and (most of the time) equality in power.

    As for how this relates to slash... So I watch fair amount shounen/seinen anime, right? More often than not, the most powerful and self-sufficient characters are male (with the exception of works like "Change 123"). Thus, my shipping usually entails slash between males. But I really won't complain about a het pairing, given the female character is powerful and self-sufficient. Like Yoruichi pairings. That's cool. I'm down. Or pairings with Death Note's Misora Naomi. No problem.

    I realize that not all characters are powerful, but I'm not talking about realism or about gen or about canon pairings. I'm talking about shipping.

  2. If the pairing's gonna be a stretch anyway...

    Heterosexuality is relatively boring to me. Unless the characters are independently very interesting, shooting outside the hetero-normative is an easy and efficient way to bring in novelty. Intellectually satisfying? Maybe not, unless the "outside the hetero-normative" thing is a plot issue (or rather, unless the "I ship slash—now what?" thing can be avoided). But I think it's a little like how it's nice to get some fast food every once in a while. You know?

    ...That is, as long as it's actually written like the two people are of the same sex. I fucking hate it when gender roles are automatically assigned to a slash pairing—THIS is my beef with "slash." If a male character is, by nature, effeminate—then by all means. But even then, the dynamic is different, and it's like, dude; if they're both macho men, that's what I want to read! Gender role is a social construct and not a given (minus cases where a universe should negate this)—it can function as plot conflict at best. I think inherent personality comes before gender role.

  3. Let's just say I'm not the straightest tool in the shed.

    (Realize that this is a tertiary thing. Tertiary.) I'm fairly open-minded about sexuality, because I don't really identify with anything and operate on a person-to-person basis. IMHO, I think identification is a big waste of time (and perhaps, for some, an excuse to not spend energy understanding other human beings they would otherwise have plenty in common with). That, and I mean... If you're too busy freaking out about what it's called, you just won't get any, period, let alone figure out what you're physically comfortable with. (If you haven't actually hiked the canyon or played some golf (or played golf while hiking some canyons), I personally think you're full of air if you say you already know what you like.)

    So yeah. Taking into account personal preference, or lack thereof—if a pairing mostly passes the previous criteria, I'm not all that opposed to "yaoi." And I just like "yuri," generally—one area where the power rule is, while not obsolete, not entirely necessary.

  4. Kinda illustrative to the point, but not really.

    Drew some "slashy" fanart.Collapse )

Franchezza chiusa.
"Closed honesty."
Because I want you to understand (nothing).

It would be easier to sleep at night if it rained.
White noise an enabling thing, euphemism for daybreak.
(Even though it's naturally dark in my room anyway.)

I'm hungry, and, primarily by distraction, I'm happy.
I've always been a light year away, I think. And when
push comes to shove, from grey gory chiaroscuro bleeds.
But I'll protect you from my arrogance with distance,

You could say it was the dice roll or something, but
mostly, I built this pedestal with my own bare hands.
It's fun to dramatize my rootlessness sometimes, yet
unnerving; galling like De Chirico—a lamplit horizon.
(Being one of a kind is strength and disconnection.)

Hope that my willful blindness hasn't blinded you,
hope that compassion won't quit being my retainer,
tenere a mente la mente, le mani dei musicisti,
e rendere qualcosa di egoistico più brillante.